


Misconception

by mulkwashere



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Genocide, M/M, Reincarnation, Soulmates, healthy lancelot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-04-27 08:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14421399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulkwashere/pseuds/mulkwashere
Summary: Lance and Lotor are soulmates that reincarnated over and over again. Once their eyes meet for the first time, they remember all of their past lives with each other. Except for this time, Lance sees Lotor through a recording. Lance remembers everything. Lotor does not. Lance hides his eyes away from Lotor so that he doesn't remember. He is afraid that Lotor would tell the team that he was a monster in the past. He is afraid of what Lotor would become.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place when the team meets Lotor. Keith doesn't join the blade. 
> 
> I was desperate for some healthy Lance/Lotor so I wrote this. We need more. Please, God, I hope people in the fandom write more. If your reading, please write some healthy Lance/Lotor. This story is not beta, so there might be few mistakes. This is my first work in this fandom. It might just be a few chapters long. I have already a have few thousand-word written. Constructive criticism is welcome

**10,000 years ago**

_ He stood there wearing shoes made of hard steel. Large, bulky shoes protecting him digging into the dirt that smelled of ash and death.  A wall of men surrounded him protecting him. Allowing him to see their flesh burn off their skin. Men, women, and children were screaming for their gods to save them from the fire that ripped through their skin. Stop, Drop, Roll they were desperate to blow off the fire, but it surrounded them. It ate into them. It was unstoppable. _

_ An imperceptible smile crept on Lance’s face. It was beautiful he thought. The smell of their flesh dug through his nose he inhaled their scent like he was smelling a bouquet of red roses. Rolling his eyes backward, he licked his lips. It was intoxicating. The Mynim’s deserved this they killed his little girl and all of them needed to suffer. _

_ Standing next to him, a man stood. With a mask covering his face protecting him from the toxins in the air and hiding his horrified expression. He crept slowly behind Lance, his husband. Holding Lance from behind. He clasped their fingers together. Touching his skin and feeling his flesh. They were warm and alive. These fingers, this body, this man he loved every part of him.  Lance turned to Lotor and smiled like he was watching a happy ending to a movie and then he turned his head to watch the massacre unfold. The massacre he caused.  _

_ Lotor whispered in ears from behind “ I love you” and held tighter to his fingers, placed his nose to Lance's temple, breathing in his scent.  _

_ And with the other hand, he grasped the sword that sat on his hip and plunged into both of their chests and said: “ I will see you again”.  _

**Present Day**

It felt like he was drowning he was sure of it. Water slowly rising above his head stealing his last breath of oxygen, but he looked down and his feet were dry, warm and still on the floor of the ship.

A transmission came through the bridge, and he bore his eyes onto the blue and yellows eyes of Prince Lotor. He was breathtaking. His white hair cascading down his shoulders like a waterfall. An ache started to build in his head growing more painful as he looked into those eyes, but he couldn’t pry his eyes away. He recognized those eyes. He smiled. He knew this feeling. He was meeting his best friend again.  Then one memory, then two, three and all of their memories of their past lives began to trample through his mind causing Lance fell onto the floor of the bridge. Tears fell from his eyes. The memories of everything they did. The pain, the death, the screaming, the children screaming for their mothers. They were monsters. He was monsters. Revenge clinged to his mind in his last life. It consumed him carved out a monster of himself. He was mad and Lotor stood beside him.

Allura stopped the video and the paladins rushed toward his side surrounding him on all sides helping him up. He quickly wiped his eyes, but eyes were still red and puffy   

He smiled at their concerned faces.

“Hey buddy, are you okay? ” Hunk asked. He saw the lingering tears in his friend's eyes but did not want to push. 

“Just got a really bad migraine.” The team was silent. He laughed “I guess it was so bad it made me cry.”

They stared at him like the explanation was not enough.

“Nothing to worry about. Really, guys, I am fine .“ He stood up brushed his shoulder off  "Can we just play the video.”

They stepped away from and played the rest. 

He gave a reassuring smile to his best friend. As he stood up he gripped the chair to steady himself and he exhaled. Before his breath was taken away from him again. Sweat began to pool from his forehead as his eyes reached out to Lotor on the screen. Lotor couldn’t see him. He wouldn’t remember. It was a recording. Lance did not hear a word that he spoke all he could see was his eyes and hear the buzz of the transmission of the ship.    
  
The sound made him feel grounded and not wanting to take his bayard and rip the screen apart. His eyes were so different from the eyes he had in the past. They were cold and hollow.A shiver went down his spine that made he want to hide and hope that those eyes would never find him. What had this life done to him? 

  
He couldn’t turn away he had to learn more. His eyes lacked that familiar warmth and all that stood was ice. Lotor didn’t have the gentle sarcastic smile he always had. All his face expression were tight and calculated.He didn’t have that easiness. This man was arrogant, smug, and his only goal was his survival. Know one matter to this version of himself. He won’t matter to him.He was the son of the most evil being in the universe, a dictator, a monster. And surely he would become his father. Created from the suffering and massacres of millions of beings in the universe. If Lotor was not a monster, he would surely become once his eyes laid on Lance's. If Lance looked him into his eyes he would remember the suffering, all of the millions of people screaming, he would remember everything Lance did. He did not want him to remember. Those images should never be seen by anyone. Even if they deserved the guilt. Did Lotor feel guilt?  Lotor was just as a monster as Lance was 10,000 years ago. He stood beside him as he let Lance murder those people.    
  
If Lotor looked into his eyes, he shuddered to think about what would he come. He would become worse than his father   
He couldn’t love this version of him. He would never let Lotor see his eyes.   


\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The paladins were hesitant to let Lotor on the ship, but he had saved them. They owed him the right to speak to him, even if that means he was sitting in a prison. Lance protested.  
  
“This guy is Hitler reincarnated and we are going to let on the ship,” Lance said.  
  
“We will place him in highly secured prison. You have nothing to worry about, Lance” Allura said kindly.  
  
“That’s not good enough. I am sure he super good at breaking out of prisons. That is like evil dude 101”  
  
“Lance, Lotor can give us information on how to beat the Galra. That information would be invaluable to us” Allura was getting irritated   
  
“You got to be fucking kidding. Can’t you see he is evil? His father is Zarkon !!”   
  
He looked at other paladins begging for one of them to agree with him. He had to stop Lotor from coming on this ship and seeing his eyes. This Lotor would own him.    
  
“Sorry, Lance, I agree with Allura,” Pidge said.  
“Hulk, please”  Smiling at his friend.   
“Sorry, buddy” Hulk said.  
“Mullet, Shiro, we can’t let this happened-”  
“I agree with Lance-“ Keith said  
“Thank you, Keith. I knew you weren't so bad”  
“But”  
“Fuck, Keith”  
“I think we should get his intel to see if it is accurate and then kick him off the ship. We shouldn’t be trusting a son of Zarkon”  
“Keith, that would not be advisable. I will keep my word to him just as I would like him to keep it to me”  
  
“Please” Lance begged “we can’t do this. He will destroy us”  
“I am sorry, Lance, that is the decision we have made”  
“He will destroy me” he whispered.  
  
He dropped his eyes and held his tears and walked to his bathroom.He expelled the bile that was rising in his throat into the toilet.He laid on the floor of the bathroom. He doesn’t remember how long he sat there. He was afraid of who Lotor was and afraid that he would be compliant in Lotor’s acts.He thought of his haunting eyes he thought of all things that could make him feel better his mom’s cooking, a warm hug from Hunk, the Sun on his face, but they only thing that was penetrating his mind was being in the arms of Lotor. The arms that would always feel like home no matter what body he was in.   



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter shows why Lance killed the Mynims and we meet Lotor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. It is short. Having short chapter makes me feel more accomplished. I have tumblr @itsmindlessmatter

 11,500

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  _Lotor’s arm wrapped around Lance’s naked body as they laid in bed. Lance was in fetal position, shivering. He wanted to feel the cold bite on his skin, so he ripped off of all his clothes as he entered the house. Desperate to feel numb, cold, and remove the heat that engulfed him. He would do anything to take the growing pain and emptiness away. Lotor’s arms only gave him a small amount of comfort. They were thing holding him to the world and holding his screams._

_If Lotor broke his hold of Lance, he would run. He would run until his legs gave out. He would run screaming her name over and over again Zyan until his breath gave out. Until he fell off the cliff his daughter was murder at. He wanted to see her smile at him again, dance with her again, smile at him so large that he felt like melting at her feet. He wanted to erase the memory of her death. Of the_ Mynims _shoving their yellow nails into her throat._

_They smiled at him and laughed at them.She begged for Lance to save her. “Baba, please, baba, baba don’t let me die”, but he couldn’t his hands and feet were chained down to the dirt. They wouldn’t let him scream he had gauze in his mouth holding his reassuring words he would give his daughter. He would tell her that she was going somewhere better, that she will see him again, and that her fathers loved her. But they took that away from him. A stream of blood ran down her neck slowly pumping out her last remaining bits of life. He saw every moment. Her lifeless body on the ground. Her blood mixing with the soil._

_He thought he could at least hold her lifeless body. Whispered to her body that he loved her. He wanted to apologize to her because he couldn't save her.But then they burned her body. Ripping away, his ability to bury his daughter. Leaving him with this insufferable heat inside of him. The fire that burned her flesh._

_He prayed that he would die this last time so that he could see her again. “Let me die” his voice quivered. “Let me die. Let me die. “ He thrashed in Lotor's arms.“ "No, my love” he whispered. Lance felt Lotor’s tears on his back as held tighter. Lotor begged Lance to stop asking.”_

_Please, I can’t live without you”_

_“I can’t live without her !”_

_Lance turned around facing Lotor. His eyes were red, puffy, tears rolling down. He gave his brightest smile to Lotor and kissed his lips softly. It was odd he was smiling as tears plunged down his face. Like when the sun is shining, and there is not a cloud in the sky and yet it is raining. “You didn’t see her die. You were lucky. You were spared. I watched. That memory wouldn’t stain you.Give me the gift of death, Lo” He said sweetly to Lotor. “You will see me again” He hoped that Lotor wouldn't. “In a life better than this one”._

_He couldn’t live with the image of her death in his mind. “No !” Lotor said._

_“Let me die! You did not see her die. I did!”He screamed. Clawing at Lotor's chest. Drops of blood feel on their white sheets. Lotor did not break his hold. He remained solid an unmoving mountain holding Lance. Lotor hated how Lance was trying to persuade him to let him die. Like if Lance gave him enough reason he would comply and let his husband die. Like a casual transaction. How could he live without Lance?_

_He felt guilty. He did not see her get murder. He feels the weight of her death, but not like Lance does. Would Lance's peace only be death? If he continued living, would he just be a shell of what he once was? Lance kept on thrashing and clawing at his skin until exhaustion took hold of him and he fell into restless sleep._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once Lotor arrived on the ship, they placed him in a prison. He did not fight or protest. He smiled kindly at him and thank them for their hospitality. He would rather be in a prison here, then outside the ship where the Galra would find him, and punish him for his crimes. He would be executed out there.

Lance never came to see him in the prison. He never dared. Even though every part of his mind and body wanted him to. Lotor was his best friend, his soulmate.He found his feet at the doors of the prison. He was not concentrating his mind would be occupied with Lotor. He mind would tell him that Lotor was exactly the same. That he shouldn’t be concerned. Every life with Lotor was a life worth living, except the last life. He shudders to think of who Lotor was, and who he was. Lotor started giving the team intel on the Galra, and eventually as the team checked out Lotor’s intel they slowly began to trust him. Lance protested at every turn. He told them that no matter how many truths that prince gave them he had an alternative motive.

Lance didn’t have the best track record of who was good and bad. The told him that he was being paranoid. They had to look at the facts and not his feelings. Once Allura and Shiro trusted Lotor enough they let him out of his prison.

Allura introduced the team to him. “This is our Red paladins, Keith” Keith nodded at Lotor. “The Green and Yellow, Pidge and Hunk” They both shook his hand. A common gesture for humans. “Lastly, the Blue paladin, Lance” Lance kept his eyes down toward the floor and held his fear. Lotor approached ready to shake his hand, but Lance did not reach out. Lotor felt a bit embarrassed to have his hand out, but he shrugged it off. He knew that not all of the paladins would be happy to see his release. The Blue paladin was only one member of Voltron that shown blatant dislike. He was insignificant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here another chapter. I am not completely happy with it, but it has been two weeks and this little fic is my new year's resolution. Probably, has a ton of mistakes, but I am tired of looking at it. Comment below. Make me feel better about myself, maybe. There no flashback. Yeah, here it is.

Over the next few days, Lotor had noticed the blue paladin always had eyes on the floor when he entered a room. He found that odd. That someone could hate or be afraid of him so much that he couldn't look him into his eyes. It was quite interesting when Lotor was in a room with Lance, his eyes never wander from the spot they were glued on. It was remarkable the strength that Lance put into avoiding him.

The moment he entered a room Lance would be on his way out. Once Lotor had entered the room that the paladins were enjoying a movie in, he could fully see that Lance was crackling about the movie. He was sitting in between Keith and Hunk. He was laughing and playfully pushing Hunk’s shoulder.But as soon as Lotor feet entered the room, he wiped the smile off his face and then he became old and dead. His teammates watched him go. They didn't fight for him to stay. They knew how he was.

Lance leaving did not concern him. He enjoyed talking Pidge, Hunk, and Keith. Pidge was brilliant. Sometimes he was amazed at how such a small little thing could contain so knowledge. Hunk, well Lotor did want to admit it to himself, but he wanted to hug him. That if he hugged this man, was he a man or teenager he thought, all of his worries would slip away. Like Hunk could remove people's troubles with a hug. He will consider asking once Hunk got accustomed to him. And Keith was quiet. He could tell life betrayed him. Keith was like him in some ways. A half-breed.

Lance. Well, he couldn't put Lance's personality into a box. He could tell that Lance had an outgoing personality, but that was all Lotor could gather. And, well his hatred for him, but was it him that he hated or something else ? He knew there was something more like a fathom itch he couldn't scratch.

Lotor noticed that Lance seem to keep track of his daily routine. He was always leaving a room minutes before Lotor had entered a room. He had been on the ship for weeks now and could count on his fingers the number of times he interacted with the boy. He did not even know the color of his eyes. When they were in the same room, Lance disagreed with every word he said. He was pity like a child. His arguments were laughable.

Once he had argued, that Lotor's hair would get tangled and prevent him from accomplishing the mission. Another, time Lance had said his hair was too pretty and that it would distract him from the mission. He was becoming a nuisance, and yet he was intrigued because he knew that blue paladin feet always paid him a visit to the prison. He remembers the blue hues from his shoes. At first, he thought that blue paladin was ensuring that he did not escape, but if that were the case why did he come infrequently and why did he not watch over him outside the cell. Unless he was watching from somewhere else.

One night he laid in bed, his mind accidentally wandered to Lance. He felt a memory tugged on his mind. When he dug into the memory, he couldn’t see any images, but he saw bright beautiful colors greens, purples, reds, pinks, and blues. So many variations of blues. It was like looking through a kaleidoscope. He drown himself in those colors. They were all-encompassing. It was like he was high for the first time. He felt light and invincible. He devoured himself in that feeling, and then he was shot with dread and guilt, and that empty feeling you get in the middle of your heart. He wanted to scrub his heart with soap and water to remove this parasite.

Lotor touched his face it was wet. He was crying. The last time he cried was when he was a child. His father told him tears were for the weak. Zakron told him that if cried, he would beat him until tears duts dried out. He wanted to take those tears and shove them back into his eyes. These were not his tears. This wasn’t his pain. Breath. Find another memory to cling to he pleaded with himself. He couldn’t stop. These tears were not his. He stopped trying to stop them. Why had Lance invaded his mind in this way? What was he doing to him? Was he a druid? Lance was hiding something from him. Lotor went to sleep that night with tears falling out of his eyes. Even with his eyes closed. Tears still pushed out. He woke up that day with wet mattress. He revisited that memory again and it was the same bliss, dread, guilt, and then the tears.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lance was watching Lotor from a video fee. He asked Coran for previous days video feeds every night. Coran asked him why he told that him that he wanted to prove that Lotor was planning a scheme against them and partly it was because it made him feel closer to Lotor. Coran complied he trusted the prince, but it wouldn’t hurt to give him the video. Maybe it will reassure the boy that prince was on their side. Lance was watching the video feeds every night. He hadn’t got a full night of sleep every since Lotor’s arrival. Deep bags grew under his eyes with each passing day. He analyzed every step and word that he made. He paused the video when Lotor said anything suspicious.

He tirelessly tried to find any evidence of Lotor’s betrayal. The team began to notice his sluggishness. The team had gathered on the bridge to discuss a mission. Lance's rolled his head sideways leaning his head on Hunk's warm shoulders. He closed his eyes for a second before Allura shrieked “Lance, Lance, Lance!” Allura said. “Can you stop being so loud?” He said yawning. “Am I boring you? Is saving lives boring” “No” He rolled his eyes.

“I am just tired”

“And why is that because you have been watching the video feed of the Lotor every night !”

Lotor looked at the boy. Eyes always cast down when Lotor was in the room. He wasn’t surprised to find that Lance was watching. He didn’t care if he was watching him. He smirked at the idea of Lance watching his every move. Let him watch he thought. He won't find anything on those tapes, he wasn't hiding anything, maybe Lances' paranoid would make the paladins realize that he wasn't fit to be a member of Voltron.

It excited him to know that such a beautiful thing was watching him. Funny he hadn’t seen Lance face, but he knew without a doubt in his mind that Lance was breathtaking. He paused wondering why he would know this. Why was he drawn to this boy? He was nothing. A human. A soldier. He wasn’t a leader. Lance felt exposed and betrayed by Coran. He grind his teeth in frustration.

“Dude, what is your obsession with him?” Keith said.

"Well, Mullet, unlike you I can see beyond his good looks". Keith laughed baffled at Lance's response

“Lance, you need to stop this. We all trust Lotor. Except you. This is affecting your work. Your aim is off. You are becoming clumsy on the mission. Please, Lance, let this go "

He looked at Allura and told her “One day, he will think we are not watching him and then he will betray us. And you will thank me”

“Lance, that is enough!"

“May I defend myself, Allura” Lotor smiled.

“Of course, “ She said. Lance cringed at the niceties

“Blue paladin. I assure you that I am on your side. I have shown everyone in this room that I will not betray you. I have been with your team two months now. I have fought beside Voltron. I have given you intel that you would never have obtained without me. Please reconsider how you feel about. Look at the facts, and not what you perceive to be true." Lotor may have sounded kind to Lance but he was annoyed, irritated, at the constant bickering he had the empire to fight for and Lance was becoming an irritating little bug. He wished Voltron could replace with someone else

"Yeah, right, prince. You can act all fancy, with your gorgeous hair falling on your shoulders, and being nice to everyone. Holding your head up high, but I know the real you." Lotor was amused. He was not sure if Lance was filtering with him or insulting him.

“The real me?" Lotor smiled. “You think you can dissect who I am by watching a video. You can barely look at me in my eyes. You know nothing about me, boy” With Lance's eyes cast down, Lotor could feel a vile smile growing Lance’s face. Like another personality reverberated through Lance.

“Oh, Lo, I know everything,” Lance said sweetly an intimately. A nickname that one would give to a lover. It slipped off his tongue so easily" from the way you secretly laugh at the stupidest jokes. Jokes a child would laugh at. Or how you become insufferable when your living quarters is not impeccably clean, or how you're embarrassed to admit that you need a nightlight to go to sleep. Your prince now, and yet the darkness still scares you " Lance said things that never change about Lotor. No matter who he was.

Lotor remained silent. All of the words he would have said evaporated. How would he know these things? Only someone who shared a room or shared a bed would know these things. Who are you? Lotor thought. Lance was becoming an enigma to him. Lotor began to question did Lance know him. Allura was fed up and so was the rest of the team. Shiro spoke for the first time “Lotor is any of this true?”

"No, of course not. Lance is deranged"

“I am deranged! You are a monster”Lance screamed.

“And why would you give him that title ?” Yet again Lance was conflicted on whether to tell his team, but he couldn’t because they would know what he had done. “Because I can feel it !” He screamed.

“AH” Lotor laughed.

“Enough, go to your room. Hunk will inform you of the rest of the plan” Lance went to his room awaiting Hunk. Hunk came in after few minutes and sat on Lance’s bed.

“Hey, buddy, what is going on with you? Lotor is on our side. Even Allura trust him. What aren’t you telling us?”

“It is just a feeling”

“Buddy, if it is making you feel this way, it must be a really strong feeling”

Hunk smiled hoping that Lance would tell him. “Sorry, I can’t man” .Hunk wanted to be on his best friends side, but Lance didn’t give him any reason to. Lance changed the moment Lotor got on the ship. He was distance, he isolated himself, some days he would be himself, but the second that Lotor entered a room he would change completely. He never saw Lance this way. He had known Lance since they were kids. He never kept secrets from him. Maybe Lance was going crazy, maybe all of this fighting and being in space was getting to him. He won’t blame him if it was.

“Well, when you are ready to talk about it I am here. I love you ”.Patting Lance on the shoulder. Lance usually would tell Hunk everything. Lance would recount his whole day to Hunk, confess that he had a secret crush on Keith, that he missed earth and that he didn't think he was fit to be a paladin. Whatever secret he was keeping it must be horrible and it involved Lotor. “Thanks, so what is the mission”

“Just typically Galra stuff. The planet of Keyviana is being captured. Apparently, they have this mineral that is able to make ships go almost as fast as quintessence. We should be there in three days.”


	4. Chapter 4

Lance needed a mission. He needed to get away from his mind and lose himself. He entered the bathroom, and he peeled off his dirty clothes. He folded them neatly and slowly placed them in the hamper.  It was a habit he developed from one of his past lives Three months ago, he would he have thrown them on the floor making a mess of the bathroom.  
  
He was not maintaining his proper skin care routine and his showers were brief because he spent his nights watching the video feed of Lotor. Tonight he would take a long shower.  
  
He turned on the shower, steadily placed his feet inside, and he felt the warm water burn into his tan skin. He exhaled. He needed to burn. He grabbed the shower gel that smelled like honeysuckle and the body brush. The body brush was rough and would properly exfoliate his skin removing of his imperfections.  
  
He scrubbed his hands, his feet, his back, his ears, anywhere his eyes could see he surbed away the dirt.  
  
Echoes of the words he said to Lotor to slither into his mind  
     _Your prince now, and yet the darkness still scares you_ .  
  
He was hurting him. Lance scrubbed harder and faster at his feet. As if he scrubs away his memories. He began to bleed. Good, he thought. These feet, this soul stood there to get the best vantage point of the hundreds he murdered. His feet needed to be punished.  
  
 Why did he always have to remember? Why did he always have to cross paths with Lotor? He was tired of remembering. Could he not just love Lotor without remembering who he was. He hated always feeling these personalities marinating together, combining themselves, twisting around each other, until they produced him. An abomination of what was Lance and Lotor. Two souls destined to be with each other, destined to live over and over again, destined to remember.  
  
 This mission hopefully will make him feel like himself, maybe for a second. Make him feel like Lance McClain. A boy from Cuba, that loved the ocean, his mom, the stars, and helping people. Instead of a General, a thief, a father, a husband, a murder.  
  
Lance scrubbed the rest of his body, wrapped a towel around his waist, fell into a fetal position on his bed. He imagined Lotor was holding him. He always kept Lances darkest thoughts at bay. Lotor was his nightlight in the darkness of place of his mind. Without Lotor he would go insane with these memories. But he had to protect him. He sang himself a song that Lotor would sing to him in every life when living was getting too much.

“You are my everything, You are everthing to me

When the world, is getting to much I will curl my fingers around yours

And we will can face it together.

You are everything, everything to me

When the sun is blinding your eyes , I will shield you from its rays

Protecting your skin

When the monsters are whispering in your ear, I will slay them down

And fill your mind with flowers and roses

You are everything, You are to me everything to me"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, as usual, Lance was late to breakfast and it like looks the princes was too. She was sitting at the table eating her breakfast.

“Morning, beautiful,” He said as he walked toward to the fridge yawning grabbing a water bottle.

“I do appreciate the compliment, but I believe you are referring to someone else,” The deep voice said.

Lance spit out his water. Lotor.He did think Lotor was beautiful. Allura was dull and boring compare Lotor, however, Lance was bias. He has spent hundreds of years loving this man.

“I am sorry, to disturb you. I will be leaving”

“No, blue paladin please do sit and let's speak of our mutual hatred for one another. Shall we?” He said sarcastically.

Lotor's words stung a little. A bittersweet smiled fell on Lance's face because he enjoyed the familiar sarcasm. A reminder of how Lotor use to tease Lance. “I don’t hate you”. He said nonchalantly. For someone reason being alone with Lotor, he let some of the angry go. He felt like he was putting on show in front of the paladins. Here in the kitchen, it was just them as it was before, as it will always be.

“Is that one of those lies you tell yourself at night? ”Lotor walked closer to Lance hovering over him by a few inches. He had never been this close to the blue paladin nor had he been alone with him. He hesitated waiting for Lance to walk back or strike him, but he stood there.

He wanted to touch his brown skin to see if it would reveal something, anything. Being brave, he brought out a nail and caressed his jawline. Lance froze up he should have walked away, but this was closest he had ever been to Lotor. It felt good to feel his touch again.

Lotor bent his knees crouching to take a look at his eyes. Lance closed his eyes tighter. Lotor touched Lance's face with his hand. He touched his eyelids, his lips, nose, and brushed his index finger along his lashes.

It was like he was a blind man trying to determine someone's facial features.The silence stretched between them as Lotor caressed his face. Neither of them wanting to break this odd moment. It was intoxicating to Lance. He could easily press his lips to Lotor .Images of the kisses they shared filter through his mind.“Let me see your eyes” Lotor whispered. Lance felt Lotor's breath on his face. He smelled like the ocean. He desperately wanted to open his eyes, kiss him, and tell them that he was sorry for the way he was acting. He was only doing to protect him and the rest of the universe.

“No,” He sounded like he was in pain.

“Why?”

“Because you will become a monster” Lance was confusing Lotor “become” was he not already a monster in Lance’s eyes.

“With only one look”

“Yes,”

Lotor was about to pull his hand away, but Lance gripped it letting Lotor's warmth sink in a bit longer before letting it go.Lance then quickly pushed Lotor away and walked to his room.He was so close to revealing himself.  He laid in bed touching his face and basking in his happy memories of Lotor.

Lotor could not understand Lance. He knew, without a doubt, the boy hated him and yet there in the kitchen he was acting so unusual.Why did Lance not run away from him? He chose to stay as Lotor touched his face. Lance gripped his hand as if he wanted Lotor to stay. Lance was protecting him from his eyes. He laughed. They say the eyes are windows to a soul, but what would that window show him. Lance was hiding something from him, but what? He barely knew him.Oddly, Lotor felt a feeling for the boy he could not describe. Did he have a crush on him? What was there to like about him. Was he just curious? A puzzle that he needed to solve.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. Yaya

**Around 10,000 years ago**

**This is a flash back**

He sat in long, open room. Mountainous chandeliers glisten in the sunlight of the cathedral. Drawings of pink roses, red tulips, and lavender decorated the walls and the ceiling. In the middle of all that beauty, Lance sat in a chair made of gold and sapphires. A chair made just for him. Legs crossed over each other at 60-degree angle. He sat straight 90-degree angle. Wearing a heavy armor that was stained a royal blue. His men stood at the two doors waiting for the diplomat arrival.  
“Ahh,” He sighed. Lance looked down at his papers and tapping his fingers on the table. He was irritated that the diplomat was late from Khan empire. His patience was diminishing. He was the leading General of the Mynami empire. He could be tending to his men, but instead, he was waiting for his chat with the peacemaker.

His soldiers were known as the immortal men because none of them died in battle.He shouldn’t be waiting. People waited for him. The Emperor wanted a truce between the Khans and Mynamis. The war was raging for 20 years. What were they fighting for? Truthfully, Lance can’t really remember, and he didn't care. He didn’t become a General because he liked peace. He enjoyed war.

He like the fight, the blood, the core, the camaraderie between his men, and he liked winning.

His men, his friends they didn’t die. He never mourned anyone since the beginning of the war. He was hungry for the chaos. When he killed the men from the Khan empire, he would lather himself in their blood. Spreading it across his face and in between all of the crevices of his body. They say that blood has healing properties that would make his skin glow. Oh, the irony.

A knock on the door broke Lance from his thoughts. Lance smiled at the guard. The guard let the diplomat in. The diplomat wore clothes that draped over his long slender body. Lotor apologized as he entered the room stuttering his words.

“I apologize for my late arrival…….. general. I know, I know that your time is precious. Please, do not be offended-” Lance put his hand up in the air silencing the diplomat. He was still looking at the documents.

“Stop, wasting my time apologizing. Let's get this over with, peacemaker."

Their eyes met.

They both fell to the floor.

It felt like sharp nails were ripping their minds open and shoving in memories and personalities into their minds. Their personalities intermingled creating chaos. Lotor for a few minutes and no idea who he was, or what he was. Different personalities came to the forefront. One moment he was king, then a monk, and a father holding a child’s hand. He gauged as if he was trying to expel of them out.

And for Lance, he saw all the version of himself, but they were all quiet in his mind, and they turned their faces to the last one in the line. The last one was holdings the child’s hand. He was screaming her name “Zyan !”

The images of his past life burned in his mind. He remembered the Mynamis soldiers burning his daughter’s body. A tear fell from Lance’s eye and smile crept on his face. He began to laugh. A laugh the rose from his belly. His laughter encompassed the room. The soldiers outside could here is laughter. Tears fell from his eyes mourning his daughter.

Lotor was still crumbling on the floor as the memories came him. Lance’s laughter dragged for five minutes. Lotor waited. Lotor did not know why he was laughing. Once Lance’s laughter had died, Lotor step forward and smiled at his beloved.

“It is wonderful to see you again, Lo” Lance smiling so wide you would think his smiled would poke out of his face. He got off his chair and twirled around showing Lotor his outfit. “Look, I am a general of the Mynami Empire."  
“Lance-”  
“Don’t call me Lance in this life. I am general Lionel now. Now, please give your beloved a kiss.”

Lotor hesitated. He stepped closer to the door.

He was frightened of him. He heard rumors of General Lionel killing 1,535 people in one day. As he slashed their heads, he counted out loud. So, everyone could hear him. He did not want to come here. The emperor of Khan emperor ordered him to. He said that Lotor was the only person that he trusted with General Lionel.  
Take a breath he told himself. This was Lance. These were his eyes.

"Do not taunt me, Lo. Give me a kiss or I will take it from you !” He demanded.

Lotor stepped forward, and Lance wrapped his arms around his waist. Lance smiled sweetly at Lotor.

“Oh, Lo, why are you always taller than me” He giggled in his ears. Lotor arms fell to his side. Chest to Chest. Lance pressed his lips to Lotor’s.

"I remember these lips.”

He looked at Lotor asking for permission to slip in his tongue. Lotor nodded. He explored Lotor’s mouth tasting him. He was hungry. He wrapped his a hand around Lotor's head deepening the kiss. Their memories, Their emotions, of their kisses they ever shared in each life passed through their bodies. They could feel every single kiss. It was euphoric and it better than any orgasm.  
It would last for hours. With each life, their first kiss was longer. Lotor hesitated before, but not anymore. Lotor warped his arms around the smaller man and took in their kiss. He loved him more than anything in the universe. Lance looked at him and not as General Lionel, but as the sweet boy, he saw thousands of years ago.

“I’ve missed you Lotor.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

They continued their kiss and once parted, they looked into each other eyes full adoration. “Lo, I am a general of Mynami empire now.” He said excitedly like he was a child.

“I am well aware of that, sweetheart.”

“Do you know what that means ?” He bounced his eyebrows. For a moment, he forgot which personality he was speaking to. This was General Lionel. A man that did not need a reason to kill.

And it dawned on him he was going to murder all of Mynamis. His own people.

“What does that mean for your people?” He asked.

“It means, I will murder them all of them." He said excitedly.

Lotor gulped. He had hoped that the memory of their daughter would not follow him to the next life, yet here they were. Lance was still grieving, now he had the means and resource to take out his revenge.

“Then I will help you”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise. I updated. If you still reading this fic thank you. This is a short chapter, but I really enjoyed writing it and getting more into Lotor's head. I am not done with fic yet. I will finish. Please comment. Tell me what you think of it. I kinda wrote this in hurry, so there is probably a few mistakes. I hope you like it.
> 
> :)

**** Lance was becoming a permitted resident in Lotor’s mind.

He yearned to see him, to touch him, to linger his fingers on his face once again and drown himself in all that was Lance. It was an aching feeling he carried with him. He always felt this physical pain when Lance was near, but would not acknowledge him. Lotor had never felt so small and desperate. He just wanted to be seen by Lance.  After their shared moment, in the kitchen, he saw Lance even less than before.

At first, Lotor thought it was a good thing, maybe could finally rid himself from Lance. It did nothing. The more or the less he saw him it didn’t change how he felt about him. All that matter was that Lance was near. His presence resided within the walls that Lotor walked through. His smell gripped the rooms of the castle. His name was in the mouths of his fellow paladins. All of his thoughts were of Lance. He didn’t think of the empire, his father, or saving the universe. Lance was a sickness and obsession. And then came the dreams. Lotor would dream of different men every night. These men stood in darkness. They all had different skin tones, different clothes, different heights, and they were different species. But they had two things in common: The holes in their eyes and the smile on their faces. They were always smiling at him welcoming him. Lotor knew without a doubt that all these men were Lance. He wanted him to smile at him.

He wanted to bang on Lance’s bedroom door and beg for him to tell him who he is and what had he done to him. He wanted to plead, cry, and make Lance feel guilty for making him feel this way. But Lotor is the prince of the Galra empire, and he would not drop to the knees of the smallest paladin no matter how desperate he was. If Lance would not tell him willingly, he will find another way.

Lotor began to observe Hunk. The way he held himself and talked to other paladins so caringly. He watched from afar how Hunk would interact with Lance. They would joke, laugh, hug each other. Oh, how he wished to be Hunk, in some these moments. Since Lotor was half Atlean, he could make himself look exactly like Hunk. He would pretend to be Hunk and finally, Lance would look him into his eyes and the truth would be unveiled. Lotor could finally ask all of his questions of under the disguise of Hunk. And maybe they too could become best friends.

All Lotor had to do was wait for a moment where Lance and Hunk weren't always together. Annoyingly, Lance spent so much time with Hunk that he would notice. He had to catch Lance off guard. He needed to be distracted and confused. The best way to do that was on a mission. They were going to obtain that mineral off the Galra ship in a few days.

Lotor had to ensure that he was partnered with Lance and Hunk and for that, he sought out Allura. He knew that Allura was attracted to him. He could see her eyes linger on him and how she was quick to defend him against Lance. He could see himself marrying Allura and falling in love with the beautiful princess. They could rebuild the empire into a new peaceful society. In this universe, Allura was his equal and not Lance. The thought of being with Allura felt like he was betraying Lance. How had he fallen so hard for this boy?

He did want to manipulate Allura, but he had no choice.

She was standing in the deck alone. She was perfect.

“Allura,” He said and she turned around.

“Yes, Lotor ?”

“ I have a favor to ask you.” He smiled kindly. “ You see, it pains me that I do not have the full cooperation of Voltron. Lance does not trust me, and I would like to remedy that. I wish to gain his trust. Is there a way you can help me with that ?”

Allura paused and thought about it.

“Well, I could pair you with Lance up during our next mission. If that is suitable? ”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you. Do you also mine if Hunk comes along, just in case he retaliates against me ?”

“Yes, I can ensure that Hunk’s calming presence is there.”

“Thank you, Allura. I really do believe that Lance will begin to trust me.” Allura smiled

“I do too.” 

That night in one of Lotor’s dreams he danced with one of many men that were Lance.


End file.
